The Set Up that is Self-Care

Written by on 29/04/2021


“What works for you, darling?”

How many times have you asked yourself this question? How many times have you taken the time to pay attention to your needs, your cravings, your joy? More importantly how many times have you closely examined why you may desire what you do and what the best (moral, legal, healthy) ways to achieve these desires are?

On the Talk N’ Vibe Instagram Live Show on Sunday the 25th of April, Kemz, Queen and Treasure discussed self-care from a perspective that is not often enough the subject of trend setters and followers alike.
We discussed self-care from the internal perspective of the individual.

We all know how important it is to stay healthy and keep fit. We remember to exercise (at least sometimes), we may even have booked that holiday and spa session already — postponing our much needed “self-care” till the end of the country’s lockdown.

However, self-care is both simpler yet more complicated than these external activities we do to feel better and look nicer. It is simpler because it often does not cost as much time and money. Concurrently, it is more complex because it usually requires more work, more looking inward.

Imagine you just met a wonderful person you wish to begin courting. How do you know the best way to care for this person, to ensure they are loved indeed? If you start answering this question by creating a list of actions you believe generically express affection for a loved one, then you MUST keep reading.

Studies and experience have shown that the best way to love someone is to know them! Yes, simply get to know them. Understand what brings them joy; what gives them stress; what they look forward to; what inanimate ideas they consider exciting or perhaps painful; what makes that positive difference first in their day, then in their life. Only when you have done this, can you begin to care for such a person in the manner they would feel and appreciate it.

Self-care is any activity we can do or stop doing in order to make ourselves feel relaxed, happy and cared for. If we do not know ourselves, or cannot properly gauge what truly satisfies us now, and in the long run, to identify which is truly imperative, how then can we care for ourselves?

A useful way to understand this, is to journal. Take a book you won’t lose and make a point to write about every thought, person, item, activity or place that calms and gladens you. Then, identify the reason they do. Of everything that is legal, moral, healthy and achievable indeed, be sure to find the best way for you to do this everyday. Of all things that are not, best to eradicate them quickly but safely.

By doing so, you are setting yourself up for a life full of enough delight to brighten the dark days, rather than just wishing the days away thereby aging your heart much quicker.

True self-care is indeed a set up for peace of mind and contentment.


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